There’s this really creepy guy that has been half stalking me for 3 years here at the library. In the last three weeks or so it has escalated to the point that he’s going out of his way to find me, get my attention, get in my way, etc. And it’s really, really freaking me out. Amber and I went out to dinner last night to talk about it, I was so freaked out, because last night it was really bad. It’s to the point that Ray (co-worker) was noticing how this guy was acting and filed an incident report. And tonight Steve (another co-worker) came down and talked to me until the guy left, and saw the way he behaved as he was going out the door—didn’t get my attention, but stared at me the whole time. And it creeped him out too. So here I am in the lower lobby all alone and who knows if he will come back—just because he usually doesn’t, doesn’t mean he won’t. Lucky thing I have a buzzer, but it takes at least a full mnute for anyone top react to that.
So anyway, how about some nicer news? Amber and I took our five children to the park today for a picnic. She has four—Emily (6), Lee (4), T.J. (2, we call him and Tessa psuedo-twins) and Patrick (whom I call Bubba, 9 months). We had a good time, but they were all really tired and cranky by the time we left. I didn’t really take a nap, but while Tessa was I did lay on my bed very still for 40 minutes. That was refreshing.
Oh, and I’ve discovered a new product (well, new to Jackson anyway) at the local party store: caffinated water. It’s called Northern Expresso, and it’s just like water, only there’s a little bit of a metallic aftertaste. It boasts the same amount of caffine in a 22 oz. serving as a cup of coffee—so now I get the jive without having to brew coffee or deal with sugar, nutrasweet, or dyes in cola. Woo hoo.
Mom: [just woke up, not had first cup of coffee and out of it]
Tessa: Mama, I wan sax.
Mom: hmm?
Tessa: I wan sax!
Mom: your socks?
Tessa: [looking at mom like she’s dumb as a post] No socks! SAX! Wan SAX!
Mom: [confused, hoping small child didn’t overhear the word “sex” somewhere, tho wouldn’t know where] Sax? What sax, honey?
Tessa: Sax PHONE!
Mom: Saxophone? You want a saxophone?
Tessa: YEAH!
We then go into a short discussion on why she couldn’t have a saxophone (too expensive, taller than the child, etc.) which quickly dissolved into a two-year-old’s fit at not getting her own way. At which point she was told to either drop it or no Rubber-Dubbers (inane NickJr. show), and she dropped it.
The only thing I can figure is that she heard the word in association with music, and since she plays music with her granny, she was maybe thinking of playing music at granny’s house and could only come up with saxophone as the name of the instrument (even though it’s a guitar). Who knows how that little mind works!
I just read a fantastic book called Moloka’i. I don’t even know how to describe it. I read 3-4 books a week, more or less, and so it’s not very often that a book stands out to me the way this one did. It literally made me cry at times, it captivated me so much. Amazing.
First, Happy Earth Day. Now go recycle something.
Second, I went to the Jackson Y Center today. I exercised, chatted with Amber, and generally had a nice relaxing hour. I’m considering a membership and am applying for financial aid. Hopefully, I’ll get it.
We didn’t used to get so many at work, but for some reason lately we’ve been getting them every time we use the web, even to check staff mail.
Fri: went to Christy’s funeral, don’t even want to go into how much that sucked.
Sat: hung out around home, went out for ice cream.
Sun: rinse, repeat.
That’s it.
I was going through some ancient journals today. Most of the stuff was too personal or embaressing or both to post, but I did find a few things rather amusing. So for the next little while, until I decide to stop, I’m going to just post journal stuff. It’s easier than thinking. Plus my life is pretty mundane, but it used to be exciting. So I’m posting stuff from the exciting time.
Click more, for journal entries and baaaaaaad poetry.
Okay, this is from my Ireland journal. In June, 1999 I went with Countryside Bible Church youth group to Tralee, Ireland on a missions trip. This is a poem I wrote toward the end of our stay. I don’t know what I was feeling, but…
“I Cry Out”
I reach for the stars
Feeling my way about
the universe with all the
Audaciousness of youth
Looking for a tangible, realistic
Way to acheive my goals
Without giving in to my fears.
I know I have the strength
But do I have the sense?
Have I a mind which can
Be useful in reaching for the
Very stars I see?
Or am I more dream than
Substance
More illusion than
Real
Seeing only with my mind’s eye
Lacking the sight for harsh
Reality—-
Oh, Help! Heaven help me
For I see not who I am
But only who I want to be
My eyes are too inward
Contemplating my own soul
And I miss the needs around me
My friends—my family
And so on, and so on. Talk about bad poetry. That one was worthy of amatuer night at a coffee house. Everybody snap your fingers now…
Tessa and I went outside today, and she was joined in play by two small children, a boy (nino) 4 and girl (nina) 5. Their mamas came to sit on the front porch too, and I went over to them because they called Tessa over to join them. They are nice ladies, I think. Young, about my age, and they laughed a lot. But you should have seen us—them with little English, me with less Spanish, all we knew was that each other’s kids were cute.
Swiped directly from Xian’s site:
Grab the nearest book.
Open the book to page 23.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
He was later astonished at the ease with which Bode made the transition from an imperial to a republican museum after World War I.
Christy Gutekunst was 25 years old. She graduated in 1996 from Jackson Baptist High School. We were only acquaintences then. Then last year, she came to work for a short time in the reference department here at the library. We became what I can really call friends then, mainly based on our similar history, but that expanded into adult interests.
Christy was smart, thoughtful, kind, and had a wicked sense of humor. She could find a way to laugh at just about any situation. She was very passionate about her beliefs and values, and all of her opinions were carefully thought through. She didn’t just spout nonsense, she carefully considered every side of an issue before making a decision of her stance. Which I find to be rare in most people.
Christy was a librarian. Not just a person who worked in a library, like me. She went to school for many years for the priviledge of that title, living at home and working her way through. She left JDL to work in her chosen profession at the Chelsea District Library.
Christy died this morning. And if someone tries to tell me that “Christy wouldn’t want” me to be angry or sad, I’m going to ask them if they know that she played a mean tenor sax in band. That she was worried about whether she’d have health insurence once she wasn’t eligible for her parents’. That she once gave me three turtlenecks for my little daughter, just because she thought we’d like them. That she used to play softball. That she was really happy when she graduated high school, and proud that she finished college. That she never wanted to die at 25.
And if they say no, they didn’t know any of that, I’m going to tell them to f**k off, because I’m angry. I know life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t stop me from being angry. And I’m really sad. Because even though I know she went from earth to heaven in an instant, somehow, that doesn’t stop the fact that I think it was much, much too soon. So let me be angry. Let me be sad. Because from what I know of Christy, if it had been her friend, she’d probably feel the same way.
Murphy’s Law is alive and well. Today, we were at our credit union signing papers for the car loan, and when we got back into our aging van (that is being replaced), the thing wouldn’t start. Jeremy called his friend Derrald, aka “Unca Ogre,” who attempted to give us a jump with his even-older-and-in-more-pathetic-shape Geo Storm, and nothing doing—turns out it’s the starter that pooped out on the van.
SO, the van was towed home and Ogre took Tessa and I home in his death trap, er, car. Jeremy’s dad came to pick him up from work and take him to Owasso to give him the new car, and his sister picked Tessa up, dropped me off at work, and took Tessa back to Leslie with her.
Fun, fun. But the good news is, I’m going to be picked up from work in our New (to us) Car!
Well, today is the day for cars…first I read about Xian and Ann’s car woes, then my husband calls to tell me that we are now the proud owners (okay, we’re paying the bank so that we’ll eventually be the proud owners) of a white, 1996 Pontiac Grand Am. So right now we’re going through a little buyer’s paranoia (forget remorse, we just don’t want the damn thing to die between here and Owasso!)
Here is what I have looked at on IMDB today.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, due out 6/4/04, has some neat still shots up. The movie is supposed to take a darker turn from the previous two “toy-commercial” movies.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is going to be released in November, 2005. Filming on it began last week. Rumor has it Kate Winslet is to be cast as Fluer Delacour, but there has been no confirmation.
Batman Begins is to be released 7/1/05. My favorite teen idol, Christian Bale, is to play Batman. This movie is a re-beginning of the Batman saga, and none of those involved in the last 4 films will be involved in this one. The tone is much darker, more true to the graphic novels/comic books than the over-cartooned 60s version.
And finally, I am taking home this version of Lord of the Rings for the weekend. Return of the King DVD is due out 5/25/04. My hubby and I are waiting a bit for the boxed set of the extended editions. No official date for those yet, but I assume they will be out in time for Christmas.
Enjoy your weekend.
Sorry folks, rough week. Monday, I got to work, and within 45 minutes I puked. Tuesday, more puking, then used-car shopping (didn’t pan out). Wednesday, busiest night at work I’ve had in forever, and darned if I couldn’t do anything right. Today, Jeremy had to attend a funeral for a very, very young man, and I got a migraine just in time for work. So it’s been a tough week all around.
